Our Final Trip

 Joyce and I loved to travel.  We were blessed to take many wonderful trips through the years.  We traveled to the Holy Land seven times.  Twice we followed Paul’s journeys through Greece and Turkey.  We cruised the Baltic, the Mediterranean, the Aegean Sea, the Ionian Sea, the Adriatic Sea, the Atlantic, the Gulf of Mexico, the Caribbean, the Pacific, and the inland passage of Alaska.  We visited England, Ireland, Scotland, Spain, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Russia, Estonia, Czechia, Poland, Austria, Hungary, Croatia, and even Liechtenstein. We have been to Canada, Mexico, Belize, and Guatemala.

 

We had planned to travel more when I retired, but I am so thankful we traveled when we were able. And we took most all of these trips with church members and friends creating memories that will last a lifetime.  We have been blessed.

 

Our favorite country to visit was Italy.  We made four trips to the Torraccia di Chiusi, our beloved farmhouse in Tuscany outside of San Gimignano.  Maria, Bruno, Stefano, Donatella, Maritza and the staff are like family.  When they heard that Joyce had passed away, they lit candles in the chapel for her. Maria emailed me that Joyce “is an angel with other angels now.”  I was deeply moved when I heard about their tribute.  

 

Even with Joyce’s dementia we continued to travel.  On the last trip we made to the Holy Land in 2023, it was evident Joyce was having issues. We made a final trip to Greece and Turkey in 2024 and that fall we did a Mediterranean Cruise with our daughter, Lynn, and son-in-law, Roger.  But I knew we would not be traveling overseas anymore. 

 

There was one big domestic trip that I had been planning for a long time and I felt like Joyce would be able to go.  She was always agreeable to my crazy travel adventures.  The destination was the Willamette Valley in Oregon, a gorgeous valley that reminds you of Tuscany and one of the premier wine producers in the US.  Our friends, Robert and Martha Adams, made that journey and they returned with great enthusiasm, telling us that we must visit the Willamette Valley.  

 

They told us that one reason the trip was so memorable was because of their gifted wine guide, Holly Kirby.  Holly operates Serendipity Wine Tours.  I emailed her well over a year in advance of our visit, and we reserved some dates in early May, 2025.  I also told Holly that Joyce had dementia.  She responded immediately with compassion and sensitivity.  She said that she would design our visit to make it easy on Joyce and to also make her feel special.

 

I know that most people would fly to Portland and start their visit there.  But there was one thing I had wanted to do for a long time.  I wanted to take the train from Chicago to the West Coast.  Joyce had no problem with that.  As soon as reservations became available, I booked our trip on the Empire Builder from Chicago to Portland.  

Something was telling me that this might be our last big trip.  I was determined to make it as memorable as possible for Joyce.  I booked first class air tickets and we had a bedroom on the train.  After much research, I booked a suite at the Black Walnut Inn & Vineyard in the middle of the valley.  

 

We had a mid-morning flight from Charlotte to Chicago on United Airlines.  Rather than having to leave home early and fight the Charlotte morning traffic, I decided to stay the night before at the Sheraton beside the airport.  At 3 o’clock in the morning, Joyce was waking me up telling me that we needed to get ready to go to the airport.  I tried to get her to go back to sleep, but she was wide awake.  We ate breakfast at the hotel and then rode over to the airport, arriving in plenty of time.  

 

The flight was nice and uneventful. In the Uber on the way to the hotel, my phone rang.  It was my friend, Lee Jessup.  Lee was calling me to tell me that he had placed his wife, Mary Jo, in Memory Care.  Lee and I were walking down the same painful path with our wives.  Mary Jo’s dementia was more advanced than Joyce’s, but Joyce was not far behind.  As Lee was talking, I realized that it would not be long before I would have to make that same decision.  I did a few months later, and for the short time Joyce was in Memory Care, she and Mary Jo were roommates.  

 

Joyce and I went to an old-school Chicago Steakhouse that night and we both were ready for a good night’s sleep before catching the Empire Builder the next day.  

 

Joyce loved the train!  Even though we had to walk several cars to get the dining car, she never complained.  We both had the best time and met a lot of great people.  When the train arrived in Portland, I took a picture of Joyce stepping off the train with an Amtrak employee helping her on either side.  In the picture, Joyce is smiling and seems so happy.  I sent the picture to Martha Adams who responded, “she looks like the Queen.”  That is exactly how they made her feel.  

 

 

 

We spent one night in Portland before renting a car and driving down to Dundee, Oregon to the Black Walnut Inn.  It was as luxurious as advertised!   

 

The next morning, Holly came to pick us up for our first wine tour.  There was an immediate connection.  Holly hugged Joyce and told her how happy she was to finally meet her.  It was like they were old friends. 

 

 

We rode in Holly’s very comfortable Suburban.  She had chilled water in the back with our names on the bottles.  Holly had even asked me what type of music we like to listen to.  She left no stone unturned.  

 

We visited three wineries.  It was evident that Holly had informed the wineries of Joyce’s condition.  They treated her with much kindness and great dignity.  We had private tastings.  They put Joyce at ease and I could tell she was having a great time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two days later Holly picked us up for our second day of touring.  The most memorable experience was at the Anacreon Winery. This family vineyard is owned by Danell and Kip Myers, a lovely and fascinating couple.  

We had a private meal in the beautiful home of our hosts.  They had a chef in the kitchen who carefully prepared the delicious courses, just for us. Kip was in the dining room with us, pouring the wine, explaining the pairings. We started with Asiago grits, Morel Mushrooms, Red Pepper Purée, topped with Chives.  This was followed by a Pan Seared Endive Salad with a special house honey vinaigrette.  Both of these courses were paired with a Rose and a Chardonnay.  

 

Then we moved to the red wine, the prized Pinot Noir.  We had crispy shallot house duck prosciutto with confit potatoes.  This was followed by an Oregon Black Truffle Ribeye.  The final Pinot Noir was paired with a Fromage Blanc Chocolate Tart.  

 

Kip was the perfect host. He quickly found out that I am a minister, and he openly talked about his faith.  The conversation was easy and edifying. It was an experience I will never forget.

 

We had two more wonderful stops that day, both with private tastings.   

 

I thanked Holly for her kindness.  She had made our visit so very special for Joyce.  As I said goodbye to Holly, I had this nagging feeling that it was our last journey.   

 

The next morning, we left the beautiful Black Walnut Inn and drove to Portland where we caught a train to Seattle.  We spent two nights there before returning home.  It was in Seattle for the first time that Joyce told me she wanted to go home. 

 

We had a non-stop flight back to Charlotte.  Joyce became very anxious on the flight.  She kept asking me how we would get home.  When I told her that we would take a shuttle to get our car, she told me that they had sold our car.  She was very concerned.  I tried to tell her not to worry.  I told her that I would call Ray Nance and he would pick us up.  But as her anxiety increased, I knew that we would never travel again.  

 

After Joyce passed away, I thought several times about emailing Holly to let her know.  I was always busy with something else, but the other day I finally emailed her.  I wanted to thank her for her kindness, for making Joyce’s last trip a memorable one.  

 

Holly immediately responded.   She told me that she cried when she saw my email.  Then she sent a beautiful tribute to Joyce that I want to share with you.  

 

Holly blessed our lives.  Joyce blessed her life.  Even in her dementia, Joyce was able to bless the lives of others.  

 

I look back on our final trip with great memories.  Thank you, Holly.  You made those memories even more special.  Here is the link to Holly’s tribute:

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DY42k5NuNvr/?igsh=MTgyMXZyMDc2Y2VlNQ==