Dear
friends, for the past two weeks I have been wallowing in the valley of what the
Apostle Paul termed as “a light, momentary affliction” on the road to
glory. And it all started with something
that was just plain “weird.”
About
five years ago I noticed a small growth forming on my right wrist. My first thought was, “This is what happens
to old people.” Then I remembered that I
am one of the old people! So I went to
see my good friend, the founding father and grand potentate of all things
orthopedic, Dr. Gordon Kammire who did a thorough examination and x-rayed that
sucker before making his bona fide diagnosis.
“Ray,” he said. “That thing is
just plain weird.” Now that I had the
official medical ruling I decided to leave weird enough alone.
Over
time it grew larger and a second growth was forming. I tried to recall if I had been abducted by
aliens as I searched for a rationale for this enlarging weirdness. People were starting to notice my abnormality
and comforting me by saying: “What is
that weird thing on your hand!” I went
back to Dr. Kammire who said we could either whop that sucker with a big, heavy
Bible (KJV-Red Letter Edition) or he could cut it out. Not wanting to endanger a Bible, I opted for
the latter. The good doctor proceeded to
prescribe some high octane pain killers and told me he would see me at the
hospital.
Now
friends, I must tell you that I was treated like royalty when I arrived at
Lexington Medical Center for my surgery.
They commenced to work me over from head to toe, telling me that
everything was going to be all right, and asking me if I had any concerns. “My only concern,” I said, “Is what my sermon
is going to sound like after I take those heavy duty pain killers?” They said they sure would like to be there to
hear it!
They explained that they wouldn’t be putting
me to sleep, just my arm. This was fine
with me. I could see myself back in
surgery shooting the breeze with Dr. Kammire while he was whacking away on my
hand. They starting poking around in my
shoulder and told me if my arm started twitching, that was a good sign. Well before I could announce the hymn, my arm
was flopping around like I was directing the choir.
Everything
was looking good, and I kept waiting for my arm to go night- night, but it
didn’t happen. They were getting ready
to roll me into surgery and Dr. Kammire was raring to go, but my arm was no
more asleep than a kid on Christmas Eve.
I mentioned it to a nurse who told me not to worry; they always had a
backup plan. I could see them giving me a shot of whiskey and a leather strap
to place between my teeth as I would say in my best John Wayne voice, “Start
cutting Pilgrim, and don’t stop until we send that sucker back where he
belongs.”
As
they rolled me into the operating room I told everyone how much it reminded me
of the embalming room where I used to work in my former life in LA (lower
Alabama). I remember saying that our
patients never talked back. That was
when they put this mask on my face and told me to breathe deeply and I quit
talking back.
Well
friends, things got interesting after they hushed me up. Dr. Kammire cut that growth wide open and
what he found inside was weird. He sent
that sucker to pathology and after running a myriad of tests they agreed, it
was just plain weird. Meanwhile, I woke
up to find my right arm bandaged up like an Egyptian mummy. I’ve been totally helpless since my surgery
which has been both humbling and enlightening.
Believing that God brings good out of every situation, even weird ones,
I found this scripture: “Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden
part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.”
(Psalm 51:6 KJV)
I could not have asked for better medical
care. Dr. Gordon Kammire and his
colleagues are the best orthopedic surgeons you will find anywhere. The entire outpatient staff was
exceptional. From the minute I walked in
the door I was treated with kindness, respect, and compassion. Everyone was friendly and showed genuine
concern. I’m healing up nicely and
believe it or not, I haven’t taken a single one of those pain killers. We are blessed in Lexington to have such an
exceptional hospital and compassionate heath care professionals.
