I Was "Little Brother" Growing Up in My Sister's Shadow

        I was probably four or five years old before I knew I had a name.  Because I had an older sister, I was simply called “Little Brother.”   My sister, Nancy, was three years older and I grew up in her shadow.

        Nancy was a brilliant student.  I don’t think she ever made a B in school.  She graduated as Valedictorian of her High School class and number one in her Law School class.  That was a tough act for me to follow!

        The first day of school usually went something like this:  “Oh, you are Nancy’s little brother.  She’s so smart.  I’m sure you are just as smart as she is.”

        Wrong!

        Not that I was a bad student, but growing up in my sister’s shadow was an ominous burden to bear.  Education was always a priority for us.  We attended elementary school in a building that had our great-grandfather’s name on the cornerstone.  Our principal, “Fessor Burleson,” taught our father and our grandfather.  Our grandmother taught in a one-room schoolhouse and our father was on the School Board.  Yes, education was very important.

But even more important was our faith.  We had a great-grandfather who was a Baptist minister.  Our father was a deacon in the church and taught Sunday School.  Our mother worked with mission groups.  Our grandmother was in charge of the Missionary Society and I always had a suspicion that she really ran the church!  Our church was not just a part of our life; it was the foundation of our life. 

My sister excelled in church just as she did in school.  Once again, I was “Little Brother” who was growing up in her shadow.  But as I look back on it now, I realize that growing up in her shadow was not detrimental, but instrumental—for she set the standard for excellence and I was always inspired to work a little harder, to climb a little higher, to run a little faster because my big sister inspired me to give my very best.

        My big sister was always there for me when we were growing up.  Her legacy not only preceded me through Elementary and High School, but when I enrolled in Samford University, she enrolled in their law school.  She married after   graduating from Law School and asked me to perform the wedding.  I didn’t have a clue what to do, but I had been trying to keep up with my big sister my whole life and I wasn’t going to let her down now.  When she moved away to New York I realized that for the first time in my life, I was no longer in my sister’s shadow.   

        She was a busy lawyer in New York and later in Alabama.  I was a busy minister in North Carolina.  As the years went by we grew apart.  Over twenty years ago my sister was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  She battled valiantly and courageously until four weeks ago when the battle ended.    

My nieces and nephews asked me to speak at her funeral service.  While I conduct funerals on a regular basis as a minister, this was different.  I felt as inadequate as I did when she asked me to perform her wedding.  But this was my big sister and once again, I wasn’t about to let her down.

        My thoughts went back to those formative years when I was simply, “Little Brother.”  The shadow that she cast over me was one of exceptional achievement.  Within that shadow I learned about hard work, honesty, integrity, commitment, and loyalty.  Together our family and our faith community instilled deep and lasting spiritual values within us.  We learned about service, sacrifice, compassion, forgiveness, and faith. 

        As I stood before her church family in Tuscaloosa and later in our hometown cemetery, I felt her shadow over me once again.  Only this time her shadow was not an ominous burden to bear, but a comforting presence that surrounded me with faith, hope, and love.  And because of those values that I learned within her shadow, I could share the good news that my big sister had fought the good fight, she had finished her course, and she kept the faith.  Once again, she has excelled!