December 27, 2013
Dear Kate Elizabeth and Ella Grace,
One day you will
read this letter and you will read about one of the most remarkable, courageous
and influential men I have ever known; your Daddy. You were only 3 when your Daddy died, he was
only 40. I know you probably have some
memories of him and you have grown up seeing pictures and hearing many people
talk about him. Let me tell you how I
knew your Dad.
I first met your
Daddy when he was only 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. I had moved to Lexington as the new minister
at First Baptist Church and Chad was in the same class as our oldest son. He always had the greatest smile and seemed
so happy. I remember when he graduated
from high school in 1992 and went to Chapel Hill to the University of North
Carolina.
When your Daddy
went into business, he quickly became known as someone people could depend
on. He had such a great personality and
was always positive and optimistic. When
you needed him, he would be right there.
We had an emergency one day when the kitchen sink overflowed and the
next day the floor started to buckle. I
called your Daddy and in no time he was there, setting up fans under the house
and in the kitchen. He saved our kitchen
floor, and when I asked him how much I owed him, he wouldn’t let me pay
him. “All I did was set up a few fans,”
he said. “And I wasn’t going to be using
them anyway.” Your Daddy was a man of
integrity who was honest, dependable, and trustworthy. Everyone loved your Dad.
He was a faithful
Christian and his dedication and kindness led to him being elected as one of
the youngest deacons in our church. The
way he lived his life was an example for everyone to follow.
Everybody in town
was excited when your Daddy and Mommy found each other and announced that they
would be married. We all believed that
it was a match made in heaven, and I really think it was. They were such a happy couple and we all
wanted them to live happily ever after, but as you know, real life doesn’t
always have happy endings.
On a beautiful
Saturday morning, April 28, 2007, your Grandfather died suddenly. Your Daddy loved his Daddy and they were very
close. I had to call your Daddy and tell
him the terrible news. He was
devastated, but knew he had to be strong and brave for your Grandmother. He quickly came to comfort your Grandmother. While your Daddy was heartbroken, he told me
that he knew his Daddy was in heaven and one day he would see him again.
I’ve never known
your Daddy to be a public speaker, but he stood up at your Grandfather’s
funeral and gave a moving and heartfelt tribute. So did your Aunt Kristi. Everyone was deeply moved.
The sadness over your
Grandfather’s sudden death was later tempered by the news that your Mommy and Daddy
were having a baby. Everyone was so
excited over this good news! I remember
people saying that if anyone deserved a precious little baby, it was Chad and
Holly. Your Daddy worked so hard to get
the nursery ready. On July 29, 2009,
your Mommy went to the hospital to give birth to your little brother,
Matthew. But something went terribly
wrong and Matthew did not live. Your
parents were devastated.
The funeral for
little Matthew was one of the saddest gatherings I have ever seen. Everyone’s heart was broken. There were many, many tears. Your Daddy had a very hard time dealing with
Matthew’s death. For the first time, I
thought his smile might go away. But it
did not. Because your Daddy had a
remarkable faith that was deep and strong, he worked through his grief. He knew that Matthew was in heaven, and that
somehow, in ways we could not understand, God had a bigger plan and purpose.
We were all
praying that God would bless your parents with another baby. Not only were our prayers answered, but God
provided a double blessing when you girls were born on September 29, 2010. Your Daddy was so proud and so happy. His smile was brighter than ever before. He had two precious baby girls and he loved
you so very much. On Mother’s Day, 2011,
your Daddy and Mommy dedicated you to God.
Never has a Father been any prouder of his children as he and your Mom
stood holding you with a great, big smile.
Your Daddy had
already been through so much sadness and tragedy that I couldn’t believe that
there would ever be any more. But there
are so many things in life over which we have no control. I saw him at the church one day late in 2012
and noticed he was limping. “What
happened to you?” I asked. “I don’t
know,” your Daddy responded. “I don’t
know what I have done.”
Your Daddy had not done
anything. Little did he, his doctors, or
anyone else know that a deadly cancer had attacked his body. It wasn’t until later that it was diagnosed
and when it was, he started a long and courageous battle against the disease,
finding the best doctors and treatment that were available, and all the time
believing that God would work through the doctors to heal his body. We all believed he would be healed. We prayed and prayed. Through social media thousands of people
learned about your Daddy and prayed for him. We all wore blue ribbons and had
prayer vigils when he had surgery at Duke Hospital in May. His story inspired people he never even met
and brought people in our town together in a marvelous way. Your Daddy’s friends came together and
provided remarkable support and love for him and your mom. In all my years of ministry I don’t think I
have ever seen such an amazing outpouring of love and support from an entire
community.
Your Daddy’s life, his courageous fight against cancer, and his
unquenchable faith touched and inspired thousands of people. Your Mommy was right there with him the whole
time. She was so strong and brave. When I would tell your Daddy how many lives
he was touching and people he was inspiring, he would smile and say he was
thankful that God was using him. But
there were two lives that he was most concerned about, and that was you, his
two girls. This is what I want you to tell
you about your Daddy:
Your Daddy’s faith in God, his
courage in suffering, his powerful spirit will always be there for you as a
witness and an example in times of trouble.
I hope and pray you will never have to go through the hard times that
your parents went through, but we never know what life will bring. But always remember that when trouble comes,
when you find yourself in a painful situation, when there is suffering and
heartache, you can work through it, you can overcome it, you can emerge
victorious because your Daddy did. He
never gave up, he never lost hope, he never quit believing that God had a
bigger plan and purpose for his suffering.
I know that God used your Daddy’s faith to inspire other people, and I
also know that God will use his example to guide and inspire you throughout the
rest of your life. If ever you find
yourself in a situation in which you are simply overwhelmed and feel like
giving up, remember your Daddy and know that you can find that same strength, the
same faith, and the same courage that he had.
Ella and Kate, the most important
thing I want to know is this: Your Daddy will always be with you.
How do I know this? Because your Daddy loved you than you can
ever imagine. And love is eternal. The Bible tells us that love never ends. Death can destroy a lot of things, but it
cannot take away love. The power of love
is greater than sickness, suffering, disease, pain, and death. Your Daddy’s love will always be with you.
Whenever you accomplish something
great in life, your Daddy will be with you, his smile and his love will
surround you. When you graduate from
high school and college, your Daddy will be right there with you, smiling with
pride over all you have achieved. One great
day, when you find the right person for your life and it is time to walk down the
aisle of the church to exchange your wedding vows, your Daddy will be walking
right beside with the biggest smile as he shares in your joy.
And one day, many, many years
from now hopefully, when death does come as it comes for all of us, do not be afraid, because your Daddy will be standing right
there with Jesus to welcome you home.
A few weeks before he died, your
Daddy told me that he was not afraid of death, but he didn’t want to leave his
family. And then he said, “I don’t want
my girls to forget me.”
I assured your Daddy that it
would never happen and that is one reason I wrote you this letter. I wanted you to hear my story of one of the
most courageous and faithful men I have ever known in all my years of
ministry. He loved God. He was a faithful friend. He loved his family. He loved your Mommy. And he loved his baby
girls. I will never forget him. I’m a better person because of him. Your life will always be enriched, empowered,
and inspired because he will always be with you.
Sincerely with love,
Ray N. Howell III
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