Friday, December 27, 2013

A Letter To Kate Elizabeth and Ella Grace Kirkendall

Here is the letter that I wrote to Ella Grace and Kate Elizabeth Kirkendall.  I read this at their Daddy's funeral on December 27.  I will give copies to Holly to give to the girls when they get older.  Several people have asked for a copy of the letter.  Here is the letter as I read it at the service.


December 27, 2013

Dear Kate Elizabeth and Ella Grace,

        One day you will read this letter and you will read about one of the most remarkable, courageous and influential men I have ever known; your Daddy.  You were only 3 when your Daddy died, he was only 40.  I know you probably have some memories of him and you have grown up seeing pictures and hearing many people talk about him.  Let me tell you how I knew your Dad.

        I first met your Daddy when he was only 16 years old and a sophomore in high school.  I had moved to Lexington as the new minister at First Baptist Church and Chad was in the same class as our oldest son.  He always had the greatest smile and seemed so happy.  I remember when he graduated from high school in 1992 and went to Chapel Hill to the University of North Carolina.

        When your Daddy went into business, he quickly became known as someone people could depend on.  He had such a great personality and was always positive and optimistic.  When you needed him, he would be right there.  We had an emergency one day when the kitchen sink overflowed and the next day the floor started to buckle.  I called your Daddy and in no time he was there, setting up fans under the house and in the kitchen.  He saved our kitchen floor, and when I asked him how much I owed him, he wouldn’t let me pay him.  “All I did was set up a few fans,” he said.  “And I wasn’t going to be using them anyway.”  Your Daddy was a man of integrity who was honest, dependable, and trustworthy.  Everyone loved your Dad. 

        He was a faithful Christian and his dedication and kindness led to him being elected as one of the youngest deacons in our church.  The way he lived his life was an example for everyone to follow.

        Everybody in town was excited when your Daddy and Mommy found each other and announced that they would be married.  We all believed that it was a match made in heaven, and I really think it was.  They were such a happy couple and we all wanted them to live happily ever after, but as you know, real life doesn’t always have happy endings.

        On a beautiful Saturday morning, April 28, 2007, your Grandfather died suddenly.  Your Daddy loved his Daddy and they were very close.  I had to call your Daddy and tell him the terrible news.  He was devastated, but knew he had to be strong and brave for your Grandmother.  He quickly came to comfort your Grandmother.  While your Daddy was heartbroken, he told me that he knew his Daddy was in heaven and one day he would see him again.

        I’ve never known your Daddy to be a public speaker, but he stood up at your Grandfather’s funeral and gave a moving and heartfelt tribute.  So did your Aunt Kristi.  Everyone was deeply moved.

        The sadness over your Grandfather’s sudden death was later tempered by the news that your Mommy and Daddy were having a baby.  Everyone was so excited over this good news!  I remember people saying that if anyone deserved a precious little baby, it was Chad and Holly.  Your Daddy worked so hard to get the nursery ready.  On July 29, 2009, your Mommy went to the hospital to give birth to your little brother, Matthew.  But something went terribly wrong and Matthew did not live.  Your parents were devastated.

        The funeral for little Matthew was one of the saddest gatherings I have ever seen.  Everyone’s heart was broken.  There were many, many tears.  Your Daddy had a very hard time dealing with Matthew’s death.  For the first time, I thought his smile might go away.  But it did not.  Because your Daddy had a remarkable faith that was deep and strong, he worked through his grief.  He knew that Matthew was in heaven, and that somehow, in ways we could not understand, God had a bigger plan and purpose.

        We were all praying that God would bless your parents with another baby.  Not only were our prayers answered, but God provided a double blessing when you girls were born on September 29, 2010.  Your Daddy was so proud and so happy.  His smile was brighter than ever before.  He had two precious baby girls and he loved you so very much.  On Mother’s Day, 2011, your Daddy and Mommy dedicated you to God.  Never has a Father been any prouder of his children as he and your Mom stood holding you with a great, big smile.

        Your Daddy had already been through so much sadness and tragedy that I couldn’t believe that there would ever be any more.  But there are so many things in life over which we have no control.  I saw him at the church one day late in 2012 and noticed he was limping.  “What happened to you?” I asked.  “I don’t know,” your Daddy responded.  “I don’t know what I have done.”

Your Daddy had not done anything.  Little did he, his doctors, or anyone else know that a deadly cancer had attacked his body.  It wasn’t until later that it was diagnosed and when it was, he started a long and courageous battle against the disease, finding the best doctors and treatment that were available, and all the time believing that God would work through the doctors to heal his body.  We all believed he would be healed.  We prayed and prayed.  Through social media thousands of people learned about your Daddy and prayed for him. We all wore blue ribbons and had prayer vigils when he had surgery at Duke Hospital in May.  His story inspired people he never even met and brought people in our town together in a marvelous way.  Your Daddy’s friends came together and provided remarkable support and love for him and your mom.  In all my years of ministry I don’t think I have ever seen such an amazing outpouring of love and support from an entire community.

  Your Daddy’s life, his courageous fight against cancer, and his unquenchable faith touched and inspired thousands of people.  Your Mommy was right there with him the whole time.  She was so strong and brave.  When I would tell your Daddy how many lives he was touching and people he was inspiring, he would smile and say he was thankful that God was using him.  But there were two lives that he was most concerned about, and that was you, his two girls.  This is what I want you to tell you about your Daddy:

Your Daddy’s faith in God, his courage in suffering, his powerful spirit will always be there for you as a witness and an example in times of trouble.  I hope and pray you will never have to go through the hard times that your parents went through, but we never know what life will bring.  But always remember that when trouble comes, when you find yourself in a painful situation, when there is suffering and heartache, you can work through it, you can overcome it, you can emerge victorious because your Daddy did.  He never gave up, he never lost hope, he never quit believing that God had a bigger plan and purpose for his suffering.  I know that God used your Daddy’s faith to inspire other people, and I also know that God will use his example to guide and inspire you throughout the rest of your life.  If ever you find yourself in a situation in which you are simply overwhelmed and feel like giving up, remember your Daddy and know that you can find that same strength, the same faith, and the same courage that he had.

Ella and Kate, the most important thing I want to know is this:  Your Daddy will always be with you.

How do I know this?  Because your Daddy loved you than you can ever imagine.  And love is eternal.  The Bible tells us that love never ends.  Death can destroy a lot of things, but it cannot take away love.  The power of love is greater than sickness, suffering, disease, pain, and death.  Your Daddy’s love will always be with you.

Whenever you accomplish something great in life, your Daddy will be with you, his smile and his love will surround you.  When you graduate from high school and college, your Daddy will be right there with you, smiling with pride over all you have achieved.  One great day, when you find the right person for your life and it is time to walk down the aisle of the church to exchange your wedding vows, your Daddy will be walking right beside with the biggest smile as he shares in your joy. 

And one day, many, many years from now hopefully, when death does come as it comes for all of us, do not be afraid, because your Daddy will be standing right there with Jesus to welcome you home.

A few weeks before he died, your Daddy told me that he was not afraid of death, but he didn’t want to leave his family.  And then he said, “I don’t want my girls to forget me.”

I assured your Daddy that it would never happen and that is one reason I wrote you this letter.  I wanted you to hear my story of one of the most courageous and faithful men I have ever known in all my years of ministry.  He loved God.  He was a faithful friend.  He loved his family.  He loved your Mommy. And he loved his baby girls.  I will never forget him.  I’m a better person because of him.  Your life will always be enriched, empowered, and inspired because he will always be with you. 

Sincerely with love,

 

Ray N. Howell III

 

       

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