Whatever Happened to Civility and Kindness?

            I can hear my grandmother now:  “If you can’t say anything good about someone, then don’t say anything at all.”  That was not just grandmotherly advice, it was her mantra; it was the way she lived.  She believed everyone had good qualities and rather than focus on a person’s faults, we should affirm their goodness and self-worth.  As Christians, we are expected to “Be ye kind one to another” as the King James Bible proclaims. 

        We were taught to be kind, considerate, and understanding.  Not only was it not Christian, but it was just plain disrespectful, to malign, insult, or openly question the character of someone else, no matter how much of a scoundrel they might be. Name-calling, insults, and slander were beneath the dignity of good, decent Christians. 

There were times when we would have fights with our siblings or other kids.  They were not really fights, but more name-calling and swapping insults.  That was when we were forced to say something “good” about each other.  We may not have meant it, but we were able to shake hands and make up and by the next day all was forgotten. 

        Whatever happened to civility and kindness?   Are the men and women who are seeking the world’s most powerful office not intelligent or mature enough to exercise dignified decorum in the public arena?  Can we not see the incongruity of thousands of people cheering juvenile behavior that would result in their own children being punished for doing the same?

        Political polarization has increased dramatically in the past 25 years.  There are many serious issues in our nation on which we have fundamental differences.  We need leaders who will engage in an open, honest discussion and a dignified and civil debate that is grounded in a respect for all views with willingness to reason and compromise on essential differences.  There is no place for juvenile name-calling or brutish behavior.

        Negative campaigning is nothing new.  One of the ugliest political campaigns in American history was the 1800 election between President John Adams and his Vice President, Thomas Jefferson.  The two old friends, who had worked so well together on our nation’s independence, quickly resorted to vicious mudslinging and name-calling.  Jefferson called Adams a “hideous hermaphroditical character” and Adams responded by calling Jefferson “a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw sired by a mulatto father.”  That was only the beginning.  It got worse. 

        But 12 years later the two old friends turned enemies, started writing letters to each other.  They reclaimed their friendship through reasonable, respectful and civil discourse.  They discussed issues as wise and mature men, not as angry children.  Their letters have become one of the most remarkable literary gems in American History.

        Abraham Lincoln was one of our wisest presidents.  When he was elected to office in a highly contentious election, he didn’t demean or humiliate his opponents, he appointed them to offices of power as members of his cabinet.  Lincoln believed that his opponents were good men with different ideas.  By bringing people with essential differences to the table they all learned to compromise for the common good and it probably saved our nation during the Civil War. 

        There are valuable lessons to be learned from the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln and the reconciliation of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.  My prayer is that we can elevate our political debate to a higher level so that it is conducted with dignity, respect, and civility.  

Isn’t there something more important than being a Republican, Democrat, or Independent?   Yes, there is---being an American.

        And isn’t there something more important than being an American?  Yes, there is—being a Christian.  

        Isn’t it about time we all starting acting like Christians?  Yes, it is and especially time for the men and women who are seeking the most powerful office in our land to act like—adults!