A VOID, A GAP, NEVER TO BE FILLED

The tears streamed down, and I let them flow as freely as they would, making of them a pillow for my heart." — Augustine

It's been almost 35 years ago, but I will never forget that hot summer night when I heard some noise over at the church and went to investigate. It was late on a Friday night, and we were living in the parsonage next to the church.

I encountered a group of teenage boys who were riding around town on a dune-buggy, engaged in a water balloon battle with their friends. They had stopped by the church to replenish the water balloons with our outdoor faucets. I had a nice conversation with the boys and asked that they make sure the faucets were turned off when they finished. They wished me a good night, and I told them to be safe. Little did I know …

I was a volunteer emergency medical technician on the local rescue squad, and it was my night to be on call. Around midnight I was jolted out of my sleep by a loud alarm followed by an announcement that there had been a wreck with injuries on a dirt road out of town.

I met my partner, and we were quickly en route with lights and sirens blaring. As we pulled up to the accident I was shocked to see the same dune-buggy turned upside down in a ditch. Several bodies were scattered across the road — the boys I met at the church. We called for backup and quickly started to triage the injuries. Two or three of the boys were seriously hurt, but their injuries were not life threatening.

But then I saw that one of the boys was not moving. Rushing over to him I immediately recognized that there was nothing I could do. He had been thrown from the vehicle and was crushed as it rolled over him. We took a sheet and covered his body while we attended to the injured.

Other ambulances came and transported the victims to the hospital while I stayed behind with the state trooper. We thought that we should find out who the young man's minister was and ask him to go with us to notify his family. We found his driver's license and when I saw his name I realized that I was the minister! They were members of my church.

He was their only child. I will never forget the anguish, the panic, the shock and disbelief. The father insisted that we take him to the scene of the accident. Then we went with him to the hospital where he sobbed over his son's lifeless body. I was with the family most of the weekend. I preached the young man's funeral. It was one of the saddest things I have ever had to do.

I think of this young man from time to time, but especially when I hear of a tragic accident like the one our community experienced last month. I do not know the family who lost their precious little girl in the pool accident, but my heart immediately went out to them.

Nicholas Wolterstorff, a prolific Christian philosopher, shared the deep wounds of his heart after the tragic death of his son in a book titled "Lament for a Son." He talked about the great void that is left. "Never again will anyone inhabit the world the way he did. Questions I have can never now get answers. The world is emptier. My son is gone. Only a hole remains, a void, a gap, never to be filled."

Paula D'arcy, who lost a daughter in terrible car wreck, wrote of her anguish in a book, "Song for Sarah: A Mother's Journey Through Grief and Beyond." She made the statement: "God never guaranteed anything to be permanent except his love. I made all the other conclusions."

I have no answers to these tragic events. However, I must believe that God's love is all we have and all we need. God's heart is broken as heavily as the parents. And God understands.

Almost a year after the young man was killed, his father stopped by the parsonage with a gift. He made us a beautiful wooden bookcase. It was the work of a master craftsman. There were no nails. The wood was dovetailed together. I was deeply touched by his gift. He had spent hours and hours making it perfect. "When you look at it," he said, "think of my son."

I do, but I also think of the father for I realized that he was finally walking through the valley. There was life on the other side.